Ouch! That did it. I just wanted to kick him hard and run out of the shop and never look at myself in the mirror. Yes, I have piled on extra kilos (and have been carrying the baggage for a long time now), but am definitely not the Biggest Girl around. I've seen larger sized people in my neighbourhood and at almost every street. Why then am I faced with such depressingly devastating situations!
I am addicted to shopping and have loved the activity of walking into shops, checking out the many beautiful (sometimes hilarious or absolutely absurd) things on display and have never been completely successful in resisting my temptation to buy. I indulge and I love it. But since my maternity days, I have refused to indulge in my favourite passtime. Size does matter to me and moving from the S (small) section to M (medium) to now L (large) has not been the most pleasant of experiences. And definitely not one that I take pride in.
I have more or less survived on the same wardrobe for the past year or two, making an addition only when a special occassion came up and I was required to look a little more presentable than my everyday look: "over-sized kurti teamed with a pair of leggings, hair pulled up into a messy knot, a dash of kajal, and a pair of over-used flats". Not a very impressive sight, and definitely not ME at all. I love my clothes, the colours, the beads, the dangling ear-rings, bright shoes, lipsticks and the many mix-n-match experiments.
Bigger and rounder was not taken kindly by me. And now I see it's not taken too kindly by shopkeepers either. To tell me am bigger than the biggest size the brand brings out....huff..pufff....how could he be so rudely honest! Finally settled for a pair of drawstrings that didn't mention any sizes on it. It's a standard size madam, said the lady at the shop. Great...so I ain't bigger or rounder than normal...am standard size. I am glad to have finally made a buy, but it's been the most depressing, disappointing and disheartening shopping experience ever.
4 comments:
Ouch!! You've touched a raw nerve;)))!!
Post delivery, I've been losing, gaining, losing, and gaining. Now I'm aspiring to be "fat and happy" (and healthy) as opposed to "fat, unhappy, and constantly trying to be thin"! I shop in places where I'm sure to find my size.
Focussing on that now. The weight loss is proving to be tough!
@Primitive Lyric: The trick I guess is in being happy-fat. I think so much about my weight that am sure all the thinking, fretting n fuming is definitely translating into fat.
To find a shop that stores happy-fat sizes is gonna be my mission now! We are big, round and happy. Cheers to us !
Sree, I know that pain. Oh yes...You were atleast a Small size. I ahve never been a Small size. It has been always Medium, Large and XL!!! Howzzat? But honestly, I have stopped bothering about losing weight, starving myself and being cranky about the whole thing. It's like you and Primitive Lyric said - fat and happy is how I am now :-) Having said that, I do try not to gain weight though I honestly do zilch to lose that extra weight. And believe me when I say, somehow I have always found people on the heavier side to be nicer and happier than their skinny counterparts (no offence to anyone.) Loads of hugs!
The way back from L through M to S is not gonna be a bed of roses..for sure..but not something which is unachievable too..come on..and that is "the change we believe in" and the change "we need" - lol , this one i cud really empathise cos my visibly lean partner shows me the way to the "plus sizes" shops whenever we enter a mall, i know am not bigger than the biggest..but everytime this happens, i wish i were smaller than the smallest..
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