March 16, 2010

Nights of blogging...and blank mornings

Am not sure who invented the concept of blogging? When and how was this word coined and what was its actual purpose. Is it just a space (mostly public) for you to give words to your thoughts, emotions and express yourself for all to see and read! But still maintain a certain anonymity coz blogs don't necessarily need to have your name (as on the birth certificate), you could always be identified as the 'madnessisme.blogspot' or 'sunshineandrain.blogspot' or 'compulsiveconfessions' or 'thesinner.blogspot'. You could have anything from a cartoon to a film star to a notebook or a pair of glasses as your profile pic.
Coming to me..why did I start blogging? I can't exactly recall but I think it started shortly after I quit my regular office work. Left with a lot of time, too many thoughts rummaging my mind and no one to share it with (poor me was home alone with a growing tummy and didn't think it right to overburden the little life inside with the stresses, pressures and exaggerations of life in this world). Maybe it was then...that I decided to join the blogosphere, a term that was alien to me until then.
Naming the blog was the first step. I didn't really spend too much time on it coz I was definitely not in my most creative or wacky moods then. So I settled for 2 things I can't do without: coffee and myself. And thus was born I would have liked to add a lot more favourites to it like rain, the chill, books...but it's fine. Coffee it is...The name doesn't in any way signify the contents within. Do not expect steamy write-ups or burning desires or frothy's just me chatting with myself.
In the start I was on an over-drive..writing new posts whenever I could. Don't think it what really my mind speaking was more about me trying to make my presence felt and make blogging part of my routine. Soon the excitement fizzled out and the posts were drying up...from one a day to one a week, then a few lines a month and then months of no blogging at all. Every few months I would do this blog revival post promising to be more faithful to this space but never happened.
In the recent months, I developed this sudden re-interest in blogging and I find myself wanting to write or actually having something to write very often. The blog's in my mind always and I find myself making mental notes of things/people/experiences that I want to write about. Many nights in the recent weeks I find myself lying in bed (am a struggler when it comes to getting sleep) playing my blog in my mind...thinking of what to write and even framing sentences..almost like I am out to make an impression and someone's watching me and marking me on the basis of my blogs, its relevance, its presentation, etc. It's funny! Coz if the comments link is any indication of the clicks on my blog then I have barely any readers. Just 1-2 faithful friends.
It is a little disappointing when you see no response to your blogs, though you (in this case ME) claim blogs just a space to speak your mind and you're not really bothered about its popularity, etc. Despite this, I find myself inspired to write more and doing the 'mental blog note' every night. Sadly the mornings have me struggling to recollect my 'late night blog thoughts' and often I draw a blank.
I have a faint feeling that I had done a version of this blog too in my mind...with more impressive sentences and stronger words. For now...this is all my mind could gather.

1 comment:

Primitive Lyric said...

Hi!:) We all have our stories about how we started blogging. I began mine on the tube in London (we were on the Piccadilly line), and hence the name. It began as a travel blog, as we were doing a lot of travelling then. However, once the baby came along, it became a mommy blog:)