June 10, 2008

No child's play

It's amazing how our topics of conversation just take a change according to the changing phases of our lives. There was a time when meeting up with friends meant discussing love lives, the latest movies, clothes, hang-outs and more crazy stuff. Then marriage happened, and I found myself talking more and more about the highs and lows of this new stage in my life. My friends and I mostly shared the excitements of the new life, the hang-ups, etc..etc... And now it's babies, babies and more baby talk. There are almost 8 or 9 of us who are all set to enter the world of motherhood. We even have a chain mail, updating each other on our pregnancy (have the kicks started, the weight gain woes...), and the more experiences ones give out tips to ease our discomforts. While all this is fun and exciting at one level, the fear factor is hard to ignore (at least for me). For a girl, who hasnt held a baby in all her life (hmmmm..... except for once), it is a scary phase to enter. It does get me anxious... will I be a good mom (well...watever a good mom means!!!), will I take good care of my baby, will I lose out on quality time with my partner, does it mean an end to holidays, films and eating outs (mite sound insensitive to some, excuse me for that).... and so it goes on..... The top most concern, am beginning to realise is really about how my precious little one would grow up to be, and how he/she would adapt to the new world. Off late I've been spending a lot of time watching or maybe even observing kids (of various ages). Some get cranky for no reason at all, some others are impossible to handle, while some are too quiet and submissive and then there are the others who are absolutely adorable and full of fun. I know it's very very cruel to classify children in such an insensitive manner....but at times i jus cant stop myself from it. And I find myself pointing fingers at the parents for their inability in teaching the child the rights from the wrongs. But as they say 'it's all easier said than done' I guess. Would I be able to achieve my dream mom status!!! Fingers crossed, I pray....

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