December 17, 2009

Enjoying my company

Being lonely is scary. Being alone is fun (at times). I am definitely a people's person. Need to have people, conversation, screams, giggles...around me. But at time one needs to be with one's self too..listen to my voice, laugh at myself, argue with myself. It's interesting, as I discovered. Since early morn until now I have not seen many faces, except for a little time with my neighbour, who is almost an extension of my personality and routine now! It was a nice day. I still laughed a lot, heard good music, ate interesting breakfast, (for lunch I gate-crashed into my extended home a floor down), and most importantly completed a chunk of work. Not bad at all. I didn't miss my husband, who's out of town on work, and (without trying to sound insensitive) I must admit I did not miss having my lil mischief-maker around. Yes I did call up my mom (with whom he's been since last night) and enquired about him. It's been a full 24 hours since I saw him, in spite of being less than 2 km away from him. Should I feel guilty about it? Well, am not. I don't know why I'm trying to sound defensive and why am trying to justify my act and feeling. It could be b'coz some people refer to this as "Oh, you've dumped your son at your mother's place?" Well for one I didn't dump him there; I left him with them not to shirk away from the responsibility of a mother. I know that he enjoys being there, loves chasing cats there, enjoys running through the park, likes to go for a walk with my dad, and most importantly just adores the lizards he spots outside on the verandah. Why shouldn't I allow him to have a carefree day, spend time in the outdoors (we live on the 9th floor of a building with no green space or play area) and enjoy the pampering of his grandparents. I am not guilty of insensitivity. My day with myself has come to an end....and am going to join my son.

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