January 16, 2010

Emotional Athyachaar...

That's exactly what I'm inflicting on myself. Stare at me for a second longer, talk to me in 1 percent higher-than-normal decibel, or give me a anything-less-than-a-smiling look and my eyes just break its water bags and down they come while go sniff! sniff! trying to hold them back. Soon I have reached this state of hopeless sob...where am struggling to dry my eyes but it only gushes out stronger and stronger. Anything from not going for a movie, to cancelling dinner with friends to my son's tantrums to my husband declaring he's busy at work to my mom's constant corrections of my way of doing things to even my maid's reactions to certain things....any of this or even more trivial things could push me into a romance with tears for hours.
Me crying now doesn't evoke any sentiments of sympathy from any dear and near ones. I always tell people nobody or nothing is worth your tears. But here I am, letting my eyes do a downpour of salty, sticky water that stains my cheeks and if not cleared then could flow right down to my neck and into my dress. It's often referred to as tear drops but mine aren't drops...it's a whole flood. Caused not by nature's fury, but my mind's emotional handicap.
If crying was a way of weight loss, I'd be size zero by now, or worse.

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