January 1, 2010

I Promise...A New Me

It's official. It's 2010. The fireworks said it, the loud cheers said it, the hug from my husband said it. It's the New Year. Unlike many New Year nights in the past, where I was out dancing and dining with friends and strangers alike, this New Year was at home. The frown didn't leave my face until late evening as I continued my whining of having to spend the last day of this decade at home, with nothing special to do, and no one special (read friends) for company. Thankfully my cousin got here armed with an attractive looking bottle of intoxication. Can't recall its name, but it smelled tempting and he claimed it was of superior quality (which was seconded by its label that said that it was an award-winning brand [whatever that means]. Since am not much of a coloured drink person, I chose to stick on to my colourless vodka. We had the snacks ready....cashewnuts, chicken, sausages....quite a spread. We settled ourselves down on the floor in front of the TV and raised a toast to the year to come. Cheers! If I was gonna miss out on my dancing and dining, then I had decided it was going to be a night of drinking and getting drunk. It's been years since I actually allowed myself to drink to the 'tipsy' stage. Last night I managed to border the 'tipsy' line, though didn't cross it for the sake of my little son. When he woke up for his bottle feed at night, I didn't want him to see a mom who couldn't walk even as steady as him. There we sat, me, my husband and my cuz (who was celebrating his last New Year as a bachelor). The toast was done and before we knew it, we had downed our drinks, cleared half the snacks, fought over the TV channels and so it went on. More drinks, more snacks, more TV watching and some story-telling. It was 11.30 p.m. and the calls, SMSs started coming in before the mobile networks got jammed. The countdown began and it struck 12. Happy New Year, we let out a hushed scream (lest my little one woke up). The hugs, the handshakes, the liquor-laced kiss, and I ran to the balcony to catch the fireworks. Bursts of reds, greens, golds were all over the sky...here, there, everywhere. Each second the sky burst into grains of gold sparkles. A beautiful sight. There were loud cheers, screams and claps to be heard from near and far. Shouts of Happy New Year reverberated in the air. It's a moment I have always enjoyed..those few minutes of the New Year where everyone's smiling, hugging and all look happy, putting their sorrows, tensions, worries behind. Ten minutes later, the celebrations calmed down. I felt a little ache at the moment; still don't know why. I still feel it. I think I know why. I need to act to relieve myself of that ache. While the world celebrated, my little son was sleeping peacefully, unaware that the world around him was welcoming a new decade, a new year. Kids....... I have made promises to myself, I have made plans for myself, I have set goals for myself, I have dreams for myself. I hope to fulfill them for my good and for the people I love. If you aren't happy, you can't keep others happy. A new dawn, a new beginning, a new decade, a new start, a new me....I Promise.

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